Nefer wrote:However, I think being in love in general is common across loving your parents, sibs, friends, lover, etc.
No way! Romantic love/lust (IMHO) is so different to family/friend love! It's hard to explain the exact feelings, but for me falling for someone is characterised by quite a few things:
Loss of appetite
A little bit of nervousness/fear
Stomach doing a little flip when I see them
Adrenalin rushes
Smiling for no reason
When the relationship progresses, a lot of these lust feelings do dissapear, and I get a more contented feelings. In fact, it's all to do with chemicals:
Infatuation
When two people are attracted to each other, a virtual explosion of adrenaline-like nuerochemicals gush forth. Fireworks explode and we see stars. PEA or phenylethylamine is a chemical that speeds up the flow of information between nerve cells.
Also, involved in chemistry are dopamine and norepinephrine, chemical cousins of amphetamines. Dopamine makes us feel good and norepinephrine stimulates the production of adrenaline. It makes our heart race!
These three chemicals combine to give us infatuation or "chemistry." It is why new lovers feel euphoric and energized, and float on air. It is also why new lovers can make love for hours and talk all night for weeks on end.
Attachment
When infatuation subsides, a new group of chemicals takes over. This new type of chemical reward is created by endorphins.
These morphine-like opiates calm and reassure with intimacy, dependability, warmth, and shared experiences. Not as exciting or as stressful as PEA, but steadier and more addictive.
The longer two people have been married, the more likely it is that they'll stay married. In part, they become addicted to the endorphins and marital serenity. It is the absence of endorphins that make long-time partners yearn for each other when apart. Absent endorphins also play a part in grief from the death of a spouse.
I'm not sure if I find it worrying or pleasing that I just found scientific proof why I feel the way I do!